Bookish Rants

We Need Realistic Fictional Families (a bookish rant)

Saraina Whitney

More specifically, we need Christian families in fiction.

I was reading A Hope Undaunted by Julie Lessman and realized all over again how much we NEED more good families – especially Christian families – in fiction. A Hope Undaunted is primarily a historical romance but the heroine, Katie, comes from the O’Connor family, and those who’ve read about them know what that entails.

(Pssst! If you’re not familiar with the O’Connors, then think of the Wingfeather family from Andrew Peterson’s The Wingfeather Saga. Equally fabulous example!)

They’re a close-knit family with their fair share of fights, banter, rivalries, tears, laughter, inside jokes, secrets, traditions, and the list goes on. WE NEED MORE OF THIS IN FICTION. I know I’m not the only one who thinks this.

Let’s face it, families get a bad rep in fiction, from lousy parents to mean siblings to backbiting stepaunts and uncles to overly stern, uptight grandparents.

My siblings can attest to the fact that I hate the stereotype of the rude, disrespectful teenage daughter, especially prevalent in movies. I am so. so. so. tired of it. And I never find anything to relate to with them. *shudders* It’s like they always have the same cardboard-cutout personality! Ugh.

(Pro tip: Stereotypes become just that when the character is DEFINED by one trait. They’re only rude, or only funny, or only kind. But one way to fix stereotypes like that is to show all the facets of the character’s personality and to explore the deep-rooted reasons behind their actions, reasons they themselves often won’t even be aware of.)

Now, don’t get me wrong, I completely get where the stereotypes come from. So many people have bad relationships with their family – that makes the negative portrayal of families sadly realistic. (In a way.)

But that’s part of the reason why we need good examples! A reminder that families guided by the will of God can have full, rich relationships with each other. I’m not saying you need to turn that hostile step-mother into a family friend or make your heroine’s bitter older brother her closest friend ever. (In fact, I have a pretty antagonistic aunt in my WIP – at the moment, anyway.

What I AM encouraging you do is to consider finding ways to honestly portray good families, whether it’s the main character’s family or not. And you don’t need to write 500+ page family sagas to do that (though I must admit, when they’re done well, I fall in love with them). Flesh out the characters in your fictional family – flat characters will only make the entire family fall flat on its face. Don’t make it cheesy, don’t paint it in a romantic light, don’t only write about the smiles and laughter.

A cheesy, unrealistic, overly romantic fictional family is worse than no family at all.

I want – I’m sure you want – an honest portrayal of families. I want to read about the tension, the rivalries, the ways they hurt each other without even knowing it. But I also want to read about the joy that family can bring. The clashes AND the harmony. The inside jokes, the nicknames they give each other, the buttons they know to press to get what they want from each other. The way that so many different personalities connect like puzzle pieces.

All that is to say is, if you’re inspired to include a close-knit family in your WIP, then DO IT. It doesn’t have to be cheesy – it can be done well. And I believe you can it it well.

(Originally written in the newsletter.)

If you’ve read The Wingfeather Saga or A Hope Undaunted, then say “cheese is for pizza, not stories” in the comments below! 😜 (You can read my reviews of them here and here, respectively. And sorry the review for WFS is so short! It’s so epic I feel like I need a long time to write the perfect review lol.) What kind of families do you have in your WIP? What do you think goes into writing an honest portrayal of a good family? What about writing a dysfunctional family? Top three favorite fictional families? Oh, and what’s your favorite inside joke from a fictional family? 👀

38 thoughts on “We Need Realistic Fictional Families (a bookish rant)”

  1. Cheese is for pizza, not stories! (And for chowder and butterbread.) Wingfeather has THE BEST family I have ever read, although I haven’t read A Hope Undaunted.
    Question: What about forced separation? Overdone, in your opinion? The inciting incident of my WIP makes it impossible for the protagonist to live with her family anymore for their own protection, although she loves them and misses them terribly. Can this work, or do you think it’s hard to do well?
    (My WIP already has significant plot problems, so I kinda expect the answer to be the second one. 😛 )

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    1. YES FEATHERHEADS UNITE!!! (Haha yeah, chowder and butterbread too! 😉 ) Amen, girl!!!

      Ooo that’s a great question! Okay, I’ve actually thought a lot about this one because I have a WIP where this exact thing happens. Even though it’s *technically* a rather overdone trope, I think it can be pulled off with a strongly developed main character. Plus, if it’s your inciting incident, I wouldn’t worry too much about the overdone-ness of it since it gets the ball rolling for your protagonist. Also… just because your protagonist is separated from her family doesn’t mean you can’t incorporate a strong family element in the story, through memories or flashbacks that show the importance of family in her life – and WHY she loves them so much. I think that would put a little twist to the trope. *grins*

      Lol you are right, it’s not exactly a piece of cake… but YOU GOT THIS! I REALLY hope I’ll get to read your story one day, Emma!! 😀 It sounds so intriguing. (Can I ask what the genre is?)

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  2. Cheese is for pizza, not stories! And I’m pretty sure you know which of those I’ve read. 😉 And GIRL. I just love this!!! (I know I said so when you wrote it in your newsletter, but still.) I wholeheartedly agree!!! (I HIGHLY recommend Kellyn Roth’s books! Her family sagas are SO GOOD and realistic and emotional and just pull you in and…yeah…you get my point. XD)

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    1. Yes girl!!! Haha yep! 😉 XD Ahh thank you, Grace!!! ❤ (Ohhhh yes, I cannot WAIT to read Kellyn's books!!! I've heard so many good things about them – and yay for more good fictional families!!!)

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    1. Yes!!! Augh, WFS is so good!! (I was gonna say, sometimes cheesy stories are really heartwarming… lol!)

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  4. AMEN SISTER!!!!! Families are sooooo under-done and it’s INCREDIBLY annoying!! Argh, yes, ESPECIALLY that rebellious-daughter trope. Ugh.

    “Cheese is for pizza, not stories” XD

    ALSO. I’m targeting this in my WIP. JSYK. XD

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    1. So true, it’s incredible annoying!!! (Argh. Yes. Thank you for agreeing. It gets me every single time. *cringes just thinking about it*)

      XD We love The Wingfeather Saga around here. 😛

      YAYYYYYYY!!! 😀 (Is it ATOTB?)

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  5. Ack!!! I agree so much with this!!! Especially within the YA genre there’s this trend of leaving the families out but, truth be told, I love the ones *with* the families! Like you said, I understand that in today’s world there is a lot of broken families, but that’s why fiction should be portraying wholesome families! Wonderful post!! I want to see more of this in fiction!

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    1. Ahh, hi Nicole!!! I’m thrilled that’s a theme of your WIP – and I cannot wait to read it someday! Amen. By the way, I’ve been following you for a while and absolutely love the advice and encouragement you give writers! ❤ 😀 Please keep it up! (AND I'M SO HONORED YOU COMMENTED ON MY HUMBLE BLOG. 😭 )

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  7. Cheese is for Pizza not stories! Lol..WFS…hahaa, we love the family!!! We so agree girl!!! More awesome fictional families, especially those great parents or close sibling bonds!!!
    Um, our families in our WIP’s…Jaidie’s families in her WIP’s are in a bit of a shamble, either no family or broken family but for the broken family she has plans to fix it!
    Rissy…well, no family, a dad who is super encouraging and supporting of his son! Oh, and super protective older brother!
    Kayti…Hmm, protective and loving older brother, overbearing father, mother who was loving but is dead…okay our families are a bit broken…but some of them have redeeming stories coming…lol…
    Hmm, favorite inside fictional family joke? Honestly, can’t think of one at this moment…lol…
    This was post was great!!! Really awesome Saraina!!!!

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    1. Ahh yes, I love their family too!!! 😀 Glad you agree!! 😀 Aww… honestly, broken families that are then redeemed are probably my favorite type of family in stories, so YAY! That’s awesome. (What, only SOME of them have redeeming stories coming? 😲 😜 Haha just kidding!)

      (Lol, it’s fine! I’m not sure if this counts, but in the WFS, it’s hilarious when Kalmar makes jokes at Janner’s expense about Sara’s dazzling eyes. 😂)

      Eee, thank you so much, my friends!!!! 😀 ❤

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  8. Cheese is definitely for pizza lol (I’ve only read the Wingfeather Saga, but I love how even with their flaws and personal issues, the siblings are still endearing and relatable.) I really enjoyed this post, Saraina! So true that stories stick with stereotypes and don’t try to add more depth to the characters. (There was a ‘rude teen girl’ trope in this series we were watching, and they tried to ‘soften’ her character from time to time, but it just didn’t work for me.)

    By the way, have you ever watched Chesapeake Shores? I really like their family dynamic; broken, but trying to heal and work things out (for better or worse.)

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    1. It is indeed!! (Yes, exactly! Both endearing because of their sibling bonds and relatable because of their flaws!) Aww, thank you, Lily!! 😀 Lol yeah… those stereotypes can get annoying. 😦 (Ohh really? That’s funny. Yesss, they always try to soften the girl but it just doesn’t really work for me either. 😂)

      No, I haven’t! I’m putting that on my to-watch list – thank you for mentioning it, Lily! It sounds wonderful.

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  9. YESS, THANK YOU FOR POSTING ABOUT THIS! WE NEED MORE REALISTIC, AND GODLY, FICTIONAL FAMILIES! (YES, WFS IS AMAZING!!!)

    Haha, cheese is awesome on pizza. Stories, not so much… XD

    I totally agree! It’s annoys me so much when fictional families aren’t done well. Sibling relationships are my favorite to write, but I’ve struggled when it comes to writing realistic parent-child relationships. My current wip is in the dystopian genre, and my three MC’s families are forced apart (the events involved with that separation are backstory for their current internal conflict). It’s tricky, and I’ve had to get creative with the way I handle that because I want to portray families in a Godly and wholesome way (like The Wingfeather Saga xD).

    Oh I HATE the ‘rude teen girl trope’! I find that one to be especially common in my genre (dystopia), and it’s so annoying! I feel a lot of books and movies portray her “rebellious personality” as “being strong”, and it makes me so mad. Lol that’s a rant for another time, though. XD

    Anyways, thanks for this! Awesome post!!

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    1. YOU ARE SO WELCOME AND YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Haha very true!!! XD

      So glad you agree!! Oo, siblings relationships are one of my favorite things to write too! GIRL. That’s such a struggle for me too!! What I try to do is study how my favorite books do it and taking inspiration from that, and focusing on developing the parents’ personalities so that their interactions with the kids feel natural and true to themselves! But it definitely doesn’t come easy to me. 😭 Yess!!! Good for you!!!!

      It’s the WORST. Oh that’s interesting… I haven’t read a lot of dystopian yet, so I didn’t realize that! Ugh, exactly – mistaking rebelliousness for being strong! *crosses arms and pouts* Lol!

      Aww, thank YOU for reading it and for your lovely comment, Ava!!! ❤ 😀

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  10. Yes!! Oh that’s a great idea! I know, it’s tricky for sure!

    Yes, of course! Thanks for all of the awesome content you’ve been sharing! <333

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  12. Cheese is for pizza, not stories!
    Another good example of a great family in books is the Swiss Family Robinson. That was a favorite as a kid.
    You make an excellent on families in fiction. We need more good ones! I say that but in one of my WIP’s is full of characters who have bad parents…..yeh…lol. But we need to show the world what a good Christian family looks like as well as church life. I see so much media that always betrays Christians and church in a horrible way, that really makes my blood boil and I hope this next generation of writers, storytellers, and content creators can change that.
    Thanks for the much-needed post! Have a great week! 😉

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    1. Yes!! Ohh, that’s a great example, I remember absolutely loving the Swiss Family Robinson! *sighs, thinking about good memories* 😉 😀

      Thank you!!! Lol, I have a messed up family on one of my WIPs too… so I get it. 😜 But YES WE DO NEED THAT!! Exactly, the media’s always misrepresenting Christians and the church, and that’s one of the reasons I love seeing good Christian families in fiction. *high fives you* Yes and amen, girl!

      Aww, thank you for reading, Twi!! Have a great week too! 😉 ❤

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  13. Cheese is for pizza, not stories!
    I.CAN’T.BELIEVE.I.DIDN’T.COMMENT.ON.THIS.SOONER. This is so embarrassing. So….SORRY. 😦 This was such an awesome post!!!!!!!

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  15. This is super helpful for me! I’m writing a thriller with a single dad and his only child daughter and she’s a preteen so it’s hard not just write her as a typical teenage rebellious daughter. Although, I’m making her similar to me so I can always write her with some of my good and bad traits. I really dislike it when they create parents in a bad light. Especially TV shows and movies so I’m trying to steer clear of that. Yes, parents aren’t perfect but they are wiser than us and have a lot more experience so I don’t think they should be given a bad light. I’m trying not to go the opposite with my single dad, lol. I think that if you don’t like the imperfect stereotypical parents you might go the total opposite direction which is not realistic at all and might turn people even further away from your book. Oh and cheese is for pizza, not stories. I love the Wingfeather Saga although I haven’t read A Hope Undaunted. It does sound interesting though.

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    1. YAY! So happy it was helpful!!! Ooh, yes, I get that. I think if you’re *aware* of it, then you’ll have a better chance of not making her the typical rebellious teen. 😉 So you’re already a step ahead! That’s a great idea! Yessss, so many movies portray parents as naive, whereas the kids are far wiser. 🤔😂 You’re exactly right! Yeah, you can go too far on either side, for sure – there has to be a balance for it ring true. The Wingfeather Saga is SO GOOD!!! 😁 (I was just rereading parts of it the other day. XD)

      Thank you for commenting, Sara!!

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  17. Hi Saraina!

    I only just saw this post and I agree wholeheartedly. There are so many books that I’ve read where the siblings hate each other and fight over nothing. My favourite fictional family is Essie’s family from Tara Grayce’s Elven Alliance series, even though they are not a Christian family. I love how they look after each other, are protective of their younger sister and have funny and witty banter that every close siblings relationship is made up of!

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    1. Hi Rosalyn!! ❤ Yes, exactly! Oh, that sounds like such a great family! I love it when siblings are protective of their younger siblings 🥰 It just shows how much they care about them! And of course fun and witty banter is THE BEST! XD

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